 Why Buy Mixerman?
You Want To Know How It Ends. As you may have heard by now, The Daily Adventures of Mixerman is now available as a hardbound book. I can spare you the sales pitch by providing you an immediate link to purchase the book. We thank you, in advance, for your patronage. Click below:
Yes, absolutely. I don't need any convincing.
I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
What are you doing? Why are you reading on? You need me to convince you to buy something that you’ve already enjoyed? How often is it that you get to read a book before actually purchasing it? Hmmmm… okay, perhaps you haven’t actually read the diary. Here’s how music critic Gina Arnold summed it up.
"The Daily Adventures of Mixerman"
"Mixerman is a recording engineer working with a famous producer on the debut album of an unknown band with a giant recording budget. Mixerman is supposed to be writing about recording techniques, but somehow, through that prism, he has hit upon a gripping story. Like all great narratives, Mixerman's diary has many anti-heroes for whom we, the reader, can have nothing but contempt. The band consists of the four most dislikable human beings you can imagine. The singer is vain and pretentious. The guitarist is a serious depressive. The drummer is as "dumb as cotton," and the bassist is merely mean and petty, making him the only one that Mixerman can stand. All four of them hate each other's guts, and they haven't even been on tour yet.
"...Read Mixerman, and you'll never wonder why the music on the radio is so crappy again"
--Gina Arnold, Metro Newspapers www.metroactive.com
Wow! What a great summation. It brings me back! Yes! I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
You're still here? You want me to lay out specific reasons to purchase the book? Would you like bullet points? OK fine. Here are the bullet points:
Mixerman Cleans Up Real Nice
For starters, you get to read the edited version of the book, rather than the rough draft. You see, the original posted diaries were very rough indeed. More importantly, they did not contain all of the pertinent details for reasons that shall become obvious when you BUY AND READ THE BOOK!
As one might expect, the original text of the story has been edited. The general content of the diary has remained the same, as I can not change the events of what has already happened. What I HAVE edited is the delivery of some entries to provide a more readable story. I promise you, I did not edit this product to death. I have gone through great pains to ensure the flavor of the diary remains the same. And since this is now in it’s second pressing, this time on Hal Leonard’s Backbeat Books, you get a flawless edition!
Wow! It sounds better than ever! I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
You Want To Know How It Ends
Now, if you're one of the tens of thousands of people that read the original entries on the web, well, it's been a mighty long time, dontcha think? I know what I think. I think it's high time you got yourself the book, because you don't want to miss out again! Do you?
Peer Pressure Works
All your friends are buying it. And if you ask them, they’re going to think you’re some kind of weirdo for not having clicked the link already. The Daily Adventures of Mixerman, was read by over 150,000 people on their computer screens. You see? You’re not alone. Now, CLICK THE DAMN LINK AND BUY THE BOOK!
Shit! I don’t want to be the last person on my block to own one. I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
Support The Arts
You feel that people who bring you extensive hours of entertainment should be rewarded in some small way for their efforts. Not in a gratuitous charitable sort of way, but rather by actually purchasing what you have, for the most part, already enjoyed thoroughly.
If I have supplied any kind of enjoyment for you, then you should probably purchase a book. In fact, if that’s the case then it is your karmic duty to purchase at least one copy of this book--for it is important to support those that supply you with such enjoyment. Besides, if you own the book, you will be able to enjoy Mixerman again and again, for years to come.
Please! Of course I want to support the Arts. I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
Oh, My Aching Eyes!
You couldn’t manage to really read the entire diary because you came late, and it was harder than hell for you to read a story of this length on a computer screen. Those crappy printouts sucked almost as bad as the screen. Look, I happen to know there are many of you out there that read a portion of this story, but did not have the patience to read it on the computer screen. I can assure you, had I been in your position, I would have had a similar problem. I absolutely hate reading long stories on a computer. Now you have the opportunity to read it as a book in your bed like a civilized human. Why are you still here?
You’re right, Mixerman! The Diary certainly looked funny, but I can’t read a book on the Internet. Now I have the opportunity to understand what everyone was talking about. I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
Do You Do Gift Wrapping?
Mixerman makes great gifts. Even the 78-year-old mom of one of my proofreaders loved the book. Trust me. 78-year-old moms and even 78-year-old grandmoms can handle the salty language. They were around during WWII, and they probably read Catcher in the Rye when it first came out! Yes, they make great gifts for ALL ages, and people of ALL interests. In fact, I recommend that you buy at least ten copies as gifts. You can give the gift of Mixerman for birthdays, religious holidays, get well gifts, thank you gifts, even graduation gifts!
Think about this: Why should you spend an entire afternoon in the mall wasting precious time shopping for a graduation gift for your Mook Nephew who never calls you? Surely, he doesn’t deserve a gift at all. But politically, you and I both know, you’ve got to buy him one. Think of the time you can save. No longer will you have to shop for gifts, wondering if what you buy will actually be appreciated. Seriously. Your Dad doesn’t want another fucking tie, okay? Buy him the damn book. He’ll thank you and thank you and thank you for years to come. Ten years from now, he’ll tell you that it was the best present he ever got. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. You’ll never want to buy another kind of gift again after you see the reaction you get.
How can I be so stupid to have waited even this long? Times’ a wastin’!
I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
Protect The Value Of Your Original Pressing
Did you know that the original pressing of these books are worth over $100 right now? That’s what they go for on Ebay. Did you also know, that this second pressing on Hal Leonard’s Backbeat Books, could also have value one day? If you’re one of the thousands that purchased my self-published edition of this book, then you are definitely going to want to protect it from people’s dirty greasy hands (or sticky fingers, ahem). Then of course, since this pressing could also go up considerably in value in the coming years, you’re going to want to protect THAT copy as well. So get TWO! Yeah, I’m saying, go to your favorite bookstore or music retailer, and purchase TWO copies of the second edition, and put one of them away, never to be touched by ANYONE. Then if your first edition doesn’t fetch what you were hoping, you can sell your perfect second edition. Of course, let’s face it, you won’t ever WANT to sell it, so buy THREE! Keep two of them in perfect condition, and then sell one of the perfect books years from now, and retain the other for yourself.
Say, This book Is Affordable!
You bet your ass it is! Now go pre-order it today, before you're once again unable to get the hardbound copy of the book.
OK! OK! I’m convinced. Yes,
I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
What are you waiting for???? Do you think I’m going to offer you a set of knives or something?
I give up! Ya got me!
I WANT MY MIXERMAN!!!!
Enjoy,
Mixerman |
